The Crumbling of a Union

It starts with small things. Every big thing does. One block at a time, then a castle. Every ant lifting a tiny piece and soon the entire ant kingdom has food stored.  The subject here is the crumbling of a marriage. The shocking event of two sane people who once stood face to face, wide smiles, blushing, trying to breathe regularly, proclaiming to pour love beyond death, a love that would kill death. They could have stood on their heads swearing, promising, and declaring that the union was for the keeps. Now, the woman is in Police custody. ‘She flung the dagger at me. She aimed at my heart’ the husband said in his statement to the officers who were not surprised. It was one of the many they had seen. Neither was the Reverend gentleman startled by the news, it was only another unfortunate case among unfortunate cases.

It starts with small things like what car to take to that friend’s party – the Mercedes, no, the Honda.  It starts with mild, unspoken displeasure. Displeasure after displeasure, then a castle of displeasure is built, then a realization that the pact was to live together forever. Some vote to tolerate the castle and live everyday in horror and turmoil. Others end it anyway they can. Either ways, it actually ends. The union that stood clearly in their minds eyes on that memorable day, dies, it ends. One wonders, should it have started? Should it have been started differently? Where certain considerations excluded? Sometimes yes, most times no, because the end of the union starts after the beginning, with small things.

Rice or beans

‘Rice’

‘Beans’

‘Rice, period!’

‘Beans or die’

‘Rice’

‘Beans’

Has it started?

The Best Version is Possible

I will begin with these insightful words of Myles Munroe: when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. Majority can relate with this perhaps with examples of things that have been abused in ignorance. Some things seem without specified purposes and so conform hitch-freely to whatever mould they are shaped into. Such substances can be made into virtually anything subject to the maker’s discretion. Who would raise an eyebrow if clay is found to be the cure for HIV/AIDS?

Humans, with our superior composition have the feature of exercising discretion as to the fate of other creatures. Some keep dogs as pets while others think they make tasty meat. Wood can be paper, firewood, furniture, depending on the prevalent need. But we soon abuse this discretion and thus: newspapers are avenues to publish blackmail and guns are effective tools of armed robbers.

Christianity has not escaped this abuse of discretionary powers by men. Many have come to terms with the fact that it embodies a good thing, hence “gospel” – good news, which lies at its core. What many have failed to realize is that true Christianity defies imitation. Its semblance is just that – a semblance. It has an established pathway and a defined purpose. It is beyond the reach of human discretionary powers. The popular yet unvoiced notion is that Christianity is a “hard life” with standards that seem to mock at the weaknesses of an average human. Yet the consensus is that Christianity - the life of a regenerated man, recreated in Jesus Christ – is a good thing. Discretionary powers have long been invoked since the philosophy seems to be: when a good thing is perceived as too difficult to operate, a less tedious version that would deliver the same or closely similar result is sort. This has failed all the time in this regard. 

The best version of a Christian life is possible. Contrary to popular deception, it is “good news,” not a mirror to reveal all the errors in a person but a cure to the otherwise incurable human soul disease. And just as it is foolhardy to exercise discretion in the use of a physician’s instructions and prescriptions, it is retrogressive to attempt same with Christianity. This is where the best version of the good news starts, when we come as we are. There is no need pretending to fast so that the Pastor perceives you as committed and very spiritual. No need to give false testimonies, no need to lie that you study half of the bible every day, no need to wear a church face on Sunday and a semblance of evil every other day of the week, all in a bid to tell yourself that you are part of the good thing even without the good process.

The best version is possible and it starts from our coming just as we are. Remember Matthew 1:21: “... and thou shalt call His name JESUS for He shall save His people from their sins.”