ME, YOU AND OUR FUTURE

Dear reader, here I go again, believing you don’t feel pestered but empathetic, delighted and willing to be instructed. I write to share my thoughts and struggles, hoping to instruct and delight you in the process.

I am not certain if my struggle started at birth or few months ago when I graduated from the university. I cannot really say. But I am in no doubt about the fact that there is a struggle. The struggle is not with my neighbours or family or friends, rather it’s a complicated dilemma featuring a deep rooted desire to please God, an aspiration for the skies and disgust towards being ordinary. It is an inner conflict between my decisions and God’s will , my abilities and my dreams, my weaknesses and my hopes.

If I told you the words to express my struggle come easy, I would be a lair like non else. How do I say that I sometimes doubt my competence? How do I tell you that I feel overwhelmed by the demands of greatness? How does one say he is scared senseless about settling in with the pack of “everyday” people, yet doubtful of his ability to sit with the eagles? How do I say that I am terrified that my dreams might be “carnal” and not pleasing to God? How do I say I want a great future right now? How do I describe the interwoven flow of anxiety, fear, joy, doubt, intrigue, hope, and aspiration that seem to dominate my thinking? How? Well, I guess the way I just did.

The future could be such a scary concept.  I know it should not be but my knowledge and feelings seem ignorant of each other’s existence. I learnt I am to bully the latter into cooperation with the former. That has not been an easy road to travel. Though this does not bother me, since my tutors told me it is a process. They say life is a process. I am very much at home with this, however, like my primary, secondary and University education, (all processes); can I have the schedule of life’s process with details of just how long each step on the ladder would last? No. Life is a process where lots of hope and faith is required (note they both share a characteristic of being unseen). Life is unlike the process of baking a cake or erecting a building, where you know in advance when to do what, you know all the materials required and the duration till completion.

So every day, I crawl or walk or run or fly (I ensure I move) along the path, assuring myself that I am relentlessly determined not to give up, pushing away with so much might the terrifying thoughts that I might fail, holding steadily to the promises of God, checking and rechecking that every step is His will, terrified at the outcome of displeasing Him, searching for knowledge in books, “How tos...”, memoirs, “10 easy steps...”, “Discovering the...” and the titles run on. Without shame or a cheap shot at eliciting your pity, I confess that this can be a very tiring process.

Sometimes, thoughts of giving up come around and want to flirt. The laziness surrounding an ordinary life lures. The easy road of the average man beckons. Fortunately, my decision to avoid and even detest such living is like a judgement pronounced by the Supreme Court – incontestable, final. Regardless, the road to greatness is no cheap talk. Rejection of applications (those I was confident where incomparable to anything else of the sort in the world), being misunderstood by friends and family. They are yet to understand why I am so weird. I feel some of them secretly snicker at my big dreams. Talk less of self doubt and periods when I feel like being laziness, when I am tempted to tell myself the lie that a little sloppiness can do no harm. At some other times, I wonder what I deserve.

Dear reader, I don’t know if you can relate with all of this. If you cannot, throw your best shot at being sympathetic. Hopefully however, you can.  Should the latter be the case, join me in a rugged determination that if we fall, we would rise; if we tire, we would be strengthened, if we doubt, we would return and believe. In any case, rain or shine would catch us on the path to greatness, blind to the ordinary, diehard decided that if truly God has a future for us, we would get there. Love you lots, dear reader!

AROUND THE BEND

Fear seems a part of living. Humans seem like ordinary people, faced daily with far beyond ordinary forces. Sleep? Yes, Wake up? Hope so. Hope seems like all we have.  With little thought, realization dawns that life is a battlefield, humans against forces. Have you read the newspapers recently? Something bad is always happening to someone or people. Why can’t life drift smoothly along, all well and rosy? What forces cause accidents and Wars, natural disasters and sickness, poverty and bad leadership? Why? What exactly have humans done to deserve pain?

A normalized fear results from the uncertain nature of life. It springs up when you consider the fact that some slept quietly in their houses and got killed by others who did not think they deserved to live, for whatever reason. Others got smashed, walking along a road.

What really is around the bend? So fear takes root, causing panic when mysterious sounds are heard at night or when the tyres of a vehicle screeches. Even when a person touches another unexpectedly, there is a jolt of the body as gory history of human tragedy flashes across the mind. What really is around the bend?

A smoothening comfort comes when someone or something offers insight into the likely events around the bend. People pay and do all they can, from scientific research to spiritualist, in a bid to catch a glimpse of the future.  I said earlier that fear seems a part of living. Rightly so, and this is for no other reason than that at every point, humans approach a bend with no knowledge of what to expect around it. Stand on your toes, get a ladder, climb a tree or a tall building and still thick fog blurs vision of the details of tomorrow.

If tomorrow could hold only but goodies, everyone would merry, sleep would be sound. The jolt of the body would not be of fear but of excitement when a person touches another unexpectedly. What a shame however, tomorrow is capable of more.

Many have clung to hope that what goes around would stay afar and not come around as it is said. Others would rather not think about it, deciding to live everyday as it comes. Some others wrestle it. They do all they can do with their limited ability.

Are humans doomed by a curse of ignorance? Are humans sentenced to the fear of tomorrow?

Little wonder why some toy around with the idea of such an invention as a time machine. They want to jump in and remain in the rosy past or ensure today never goes away. For now, the time machine has proved elusive. Consequently, in the midst of merry, cold shivers run down spines at the thought of “later”, for the mere ignorance of what “latter” holds.

How about this thought: that someone made the world and its contents and the events that occur in it. This I describe as popular truth, wrapped in lies. Various versions of the story of a God, who made the earth and a place where He lives called Heaven, exist. Many have made a trade of it, demanding money in His name; calming to have been empowered by Him to foretell the future.

In all versions of the story of this God however, a fact seems clear: He knows what lies around the bend. Don’t give up on this lead. I believe the way out starts here. It is only a truth wrapped in lies. But like anything else of real value, it should be unravelled. Join me and many others as we unwrap, one lie at a time. From the little I have unwrapped, I can tell you this much: God is real and He knows what lies around the bend. For those who trust Him, life is not uncertain. He has good plans for them and watches constantly over them to protect them.  One more thing, you could join this league by believing and saying this prayer: “Lord Jesus, I believe you died for my sins that I might be made righteous. I accept you today as my Saviour and my Lord. Cleanse me from all my sins and make me a new creature. In Jesus precious name, Amen.”

HOPE FOR US BECAUSE OF US

Image from: donotgiveup.net

Amongst other related definitions, the Longman Active Study Dictionary defines hope as “the feeling of wanting something to happen or be true, and believing that it is possible”.

I hear a lot of talk and read a lot of writing instructing us to be hopeful regardless of gloomy circumstances. It is fast becoming a cliché, the expected statement of condolence. Unlike many people, I decided to give this concept of “hope” some thought. Could there be any progressive outcome from the feeling of wanting something to happen or be true and believing that it is possible? Does this not sound similar to a daydream or outright fantasy, castle in the air sought of thing?

I resolved to consider history.  The following are a few examples of individuals and people who hoped, and the outcomes of their wisdom or folly.

William Wilberforce 

Wilberforce became a member of the British Parliament in 1780. During, this period, Slave trade was a thriving business in the United Kingdom.  Slaves were taken from Africa and sold to plantation owners who used them for manual labour and treated them very badly. Weird as this might sound, it was lawful. As a member of parliament, Wilberforce was opposed to this practice and moved for its abolishment.  Though staunchly opposed, Wilberforce wanted slave trade abolished and believed it was possible. In 1807, Wilberforce and his cohorts achieved their goal, Slave trade was abolished.

Winston Churchill

He was a former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and one of those who led the world to victory in the Second World War.  In 1941, he visited the school where he studied as a young man and the speech he delivered contained these words “This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never- in nothing, great or small, large or petty- never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy”. This could be considered more of persistence, but at the root of such a mindset is hope. 

African American people

 
The story of the African Americans and their struggle with racism has been over flogged and I don’t intend to go over it. However, I could not help but notice the moral of their story. Racism was not what the African American Civil rights activists wanted. They wanted freedom and equality. They believed it was possible and did not relent until it happened.

For the sake of length, I have kept these historical perspectives brief and to the point. However, I hope my point goes home that “Hopelessness does not pay”

You know how circumstances can be beyond our control. Stuff happen. Even in a democracy, with established systems and protocols of justice, injustice happens and in many instances the oppressed can do nothing. Knowing your rights is sometimes not enough. Everything could be outside your reach. However, the blow of defeat only hits when the feeling of wanting something positive to happen and believing that it is possible goes away. Hope is sometimes all we have. If we lose hope, we are giving up the only thing we have.

Art Williams said “All you can do is all you can do, but all you can do is enough.” If hoping is all you can do, do it. Not against the vague definition of hope that goes around these days, but against the dictionary definition of this precious English word- wanting something to happen and believing it is possible.

On our National scene, as Nigerians we are set to throw in the towel, to give up (whatever that means to a nation). I want to suggest we result to a feeling. Weird as this may sound considering the fact that far more advanced solutions have failed. History however proves the proficiency of hope. Let’s give hope a chance.

Regular men and women in Nigeria, the power of governance might not rest in you bosom as it should, every bad thing you have  complained about might be turning   worse, even the unity of you great country is being threatened. It is all happening fast, you have long lost grip. Don’t lose grip of the feeling of wanting something positive to happen and believing it is possible.

I once heard a respected Nigerian, Ifueko Omoigui Okauru say, “Losing hope means you have accepted things that are wrong to be right”. Imagine a Nigeria where bad roads are eternally the norm. Can you fathom a country where terrible health care services, poisonous drinking water, a growing gully between the very rich and the miserably poor, scarce electricity, troublesome unemployment, and corruption inclined public officers,  become the normal practice, FOREVER? Allow the dread that comes to mind make you cling tightly to hope.

Things are bad and seem to be going worse, but the feeling of wanting something positive to happen and believing it is possible is something we cannot afford to lose. Let us never say “All hope is lost”.